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Friday, July 19, 2013

What do I tell my future child?

That's right! I'm on the verge of being a mom...about 5 months away to be exact. Yes, that handsome man in the last post showed he is as intelligent as he is good looking and married me and knocked me up. In that order, thank you very much.

George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin. Yes, this is what I'm writing about. My new husband has posted his own blog about how he really feels nothing about the situation...because our country doesn't REALLY want to talk about race. I have to say I agree with him on that point. The only difference is, I'm feeling so many emotions about this whole thing.

What do I tell my future child? Odds are he/she will be a lovely shade of brown. Unfortunately, that also means some people will find my child scary. Especially if I have a son.

Our country does have a race problem. Is it improving? Yes. I believe if you spend any time with little kids today, you'll see that skin color doesn't mean a darn thing to them.

That doesn't mean that RIGHT NOW we don't still have a problem. Since I've been with my husband, I've witnessed it.

I'm petite, blond, and white. The two times in my life I've been pulled over by a cop, they've simply stated why they pulled me over "You're headlights aren't on.", told me to be more careful, and sent me on my way. I've never had to even show my ID.

The two times Husband, who is tall and black,  has been pulled over with me in the car, (in the last two years only) he gets a flashlight in his face, "License, Registration, Do you have any warrants?" (WTF? Instantly assumed he may have a criminal past) And yes, one time it was for a headlight that was out...that's it.

So yes, we have a problem. And I was more like George Zimmerman until I fell in love with Husband and his family. I was always afraid when I saw any man on the street whose skin was darker than mine. The darker, the scarier. Even though intellectually, I knew that was silly...that is how our society has taught us to be. I wasn't even aware of it until I started making eye contact and saying "hello" to more men as they passed me by, regardless of their shade of brown.

It hit me one day "OMG you've stereotyping based on skin!" I have felt shame for this. I don't blame myself though. I can only strive to be better.

 (Now, I'm not an idiot...I still pay attention to a man's body language and my surroundings.)

So back to my original question; What do I say to my child? How do I explain this without making them hate how they look? How do I explain this so they aren't afraid. Or do I say nothing at all? Do I just let Husband handle it when the time comes?

1 comment:

  1. As a brown girl who is a daughter of a white mom, I can tell you this. You don't say anything. I didn't realize I was different than all the blond, blue-eyed nordic people I grew up with in Minnesota, until some igorant child questioned my friend, "why are you friends with that brown girl?". That is the moment I realized my Peruvian brown skin qas bad. Let your son or daughter be a kid and when they realize their shade of brown is "bad" you can address it then.


I appreciate and welcome your comments. I will be moderating them though. Honestly, I don't swear and I take pride in my education so do your best to use proper language and grammar. Being passionate is one thing. Sounding like an idiot...just makes you sound like an idiot.