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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Please watch this film

Food, Inc. It will be online to watch until 4/28/10 at Midnight

*there are disturbing images but sometimes the truth is disturbing.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I don't quite fit...

Saturday night my sis came over, we got all dressed up, hopped in her red convertible to downtown Campbell, walked into a packed Aqui's anxious for a margarita and...proceeded to have a tear inducing confessional. Bummer.

Issues we've had all the way back to childhood came up. Things about our mom (who is our best friend) came up. Keeping secrets came up. My relationship stuff came up. Add a Sangria Swirl and I was sitting in Aqui's tears streaming down my face in my little black dress and I could not stop it. Stupid alcohol.

So I woke up this morning and unfortunately I can remember most of it. I am starting to realize that I don't quite fit anywhere in my life. I am not exactly who my mom thinks I am (I won't get into why...let's just say, to most it's not a big deal but for me it is), I apparently am not the person my little sis thought I was when she idolized me (she did?) as a kid. Obviously, I'm not the perfect wife. To top it all off, I had a mini meltdown at work this week followed by a conversation with my boss that went something like this; "Looking at it now, I'm not sure this new position plays to your strengths...but don't worry, your job is secure."

In Summary:

  • Married but husbandless and not sure what's going to happen.
  • Mom thinks I'm this saint and I'm not.
  • Little sis thought I was super cool growing up and then got to know me (geek,shy,boring)
  • New position at work "doesn't play to my strengths".

Cool huh? No. Not cool at all. I am self aware enough to realize that it is partly A) I am still figuring out who I am and B) I need to be okay with who I am before anyone else can be.

But it's so much easier to just do what makes everyone else comfortable right? Just do whatever Mr. wants and then you avoid fights. Don't tell mom or sis EVERYTHING about you to avoid family drama. Let sis take the lead all the time because she's more assertive anyway. Just work, work, work hard and do your job well and the bosses will love you. Right?

I wish. If it was that simple, I guess my life wouldn't be such a mess. Crap. Now what? I'm open to suggestions...

Just don't give up I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in, I won't let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me (whataya want from me)

Friday, April 16, 2010

Not your baby's Facebook

Is it just me or do people suddenly lose their identity when they have a kid? Is it just me or is it suuuper annoying that suddenly every Facebook status update is "Junior just did this...junior just said that...junior just went here."?

I am 31 years old. Facebook is for grown-ups (and teenagers I suppose). I really am not interested in toilet training, preschool, junior's first steps, that they squashed a bug, picked their nose, whatever. I've been there, done that...30 years ago. My friends did that too. I'm sure if toddlers had facebooks, seeing those kinds of status updates would be all the rage.

The other thing I can't stand. Your baby's headshot as your profile pic. I mean, seriously? I don't know who that is...all babies look the same...cute (mostly) but the same. It is YOUR Facebook page, not Junior's. Besides, how do you know some kidnapper isn't scanning profile pics shopping for their next victim. "Oh...Lisa in Illinois has a newborn! And they live in "your town here"."

Now before you get all sensitive and think I'm a baby hater, I'm not. If you are proud of your child's accomplishment, great. Post YOUR reaction and feelings to it.

Part of my feelings come from the fact that it seems like parents want to involve their kids in everything these days. Also, when they do come to a "grown up" place (like a restaurant) many people let their kids run around like it's a playground.

All I know is that when I was a kid, mom and dad went to "grown up" places and left my sis and I with Grandma. When we did go out with them, we were expected to be quiet and behave...so we did.

I will admit, there is a little jealousy/sadness behind this. I feel like I'm losing touch with my peers cuz I'm the single girl now...everyone else is getting married, having babies, buying houses. Still, it is YOUR Facebook page. Remember that. It's YOUR life too. Don't lose yourself okay? (and if you could make you kid stay in their seat when out in public, that would be nice too)

TGIF, TTFN

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Ok, it's not ALL bad


Really, I apologize for how extremely sad my blogs are lately...it's just I'm extremely sad.

However...it's not ALL bad. So here are some good things that have happened since, well, you know.

1. I have my own place for the first time in my life. It's all mine people. Paid for with MY money. It's kinda awesome.
2. My dog is awesome. ---->
3. I have a couch for the first time in 3 years so I can you know, cuddle him -->
4. I have stopped the addictive Facebook games.
5. I walk at least 35 minutes a day.
6. There is an awesome (the sushi place to be, says my sis) sushi restaurant, MIZU, right across the street.
7. Two pools, two hot tubs, two saunas. I haven't tried them yet, but they are there!
8. Quality time with my bff's and family with zero drama.
9. I'm more self sufficient. I replaced the belt in my vacuum all by myself.
10. There is a lot less cheese and butter in my life, lol.
11. I got promoted and work and get compliments regularly.
12. I won $500 on the radio today. Good Karma. (bet white trash hasn't gotten any of THAT lately)
13. What will lucky 13 be? hmmm

See? Not so bad right? Right? Right.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Really?

I don't need to be told every day that I look tired, thank you very much.

You try sleeping alone every night for the first time in 11 years.

"Even with your makeup on today you look tired." Thanks. Can I strangle you now?