To Blog or Not to Blog

Hi,

It's me. I'm not dead. Sorry it's been so long...it's just that well, the world is so screwed up and depressing do you really want to read about my also screwed up and depressing life? Probably not. I have what, like 6 followers? (Not that you don't matter *waving* Hi! I love you!) Let's just say, for the last year or so, the only blogging I've done has been OLD SKOOL, in an actual journal...with a pen. Yeah, I know.

I've thought about doing a quick book or movie review but my heart's just not in it. My heart has had quite the year...god, it's been almost a year of this craziness and chaos. Hmmm. Well, when I started this blog it was all YIPPEE!!! NKOTB!!!JOEY!!!EXERCISE!!! and a few "serious" topics, lol. Life was so simple and blond then. I say that because then I was blond and now I'm brunette and I'm different. I've grown up (thought I already was, apparently not) and I'm stronger (more bitter, ugh I want my fairy tales back!).

What the hell, I'm bored at work and reading Twitter and other peoples' blogs, might as well blog and let it all out there....

My marriage is "on hold". It's not over but, well, it's going on hiatus at least. My husband was stupid and did a lot of stupid things. I was oblivious. Oblivious is bad too though. I accept full responsibility for oblivious. You know, I thought, we had a wedding, we took vows in front of a lot of people, we have rings, I'm all set. Um...no. Well, yes, for me that all means exactly what it should but apparently he didn't quite absorb all that into his very soul like I did. And I didn't notice...oops. HE DIDN'T TELL ME THOUGH!

Guys, really...we ARE NOT psychic! I did ask..."is this ok, is that ok, how do you feel about that?" and he always smiled and was supportive. I guess inside he was miserable...for quite a while though. While I was chasing NKOTB and twittering and chatting,etc, he was finding his own distractions. I thought it was just work...it wasn't. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TELL ME!

Alas, it's all happened and we've screamed and yelled and walked out and cried and made love, tried(for the record he didn't try very hard) and given up over and over....and it's just time for a break. The love is still there though...at least we have that. So even though I didn't get what I wanted doing everything I was "supposed to do" (the most disappointing phrase in my entire life) now I'm going to do what most people don't have the guts to do...I am "leaving" my old life with the hopes that I'll still want him (and he'll still want me) in my new life.

Really, did you want to hear every depressing detail of my marriage falling apart over the last 10 months? Probably not. Now that it's inevitable and our landlord is getting notice this weekend, I don't see the harm in putting my business out there.

Joe and Myka Part One is coming to and end. It's okay, you should grieve if you feel the need. A lot of people have been and will. I know I know, "not Joe and Myka?! What!!?" Yeah, I feel the same way, sorry. For a while you will have to be okay with just Myka. Or Joe. Not Joe and Myka though, sorry. We are considering a sequel...if we can come up with a happy ending.

So, can you handle a spin off for a season, like "Myka, Princess of Power"? Only, without the cool sword and flying horse... (though I will have Tully, the wet nosed Wiener dog).

What do you think? Will Myka be able to cope on her own? We she go on crazy adventures or will she pine away for Joe, the love of her life? Will she try RED hair for a while? Will Joe desperately try to win Myka back or will he become a nomad? Wait and see...